Ross Good (aka The Stented Papa) is a stay at home dad since needing four stents at the age of 37 and is sharing snippets of parenting wisdom.
Over the last 20 weeks, I’ve absolutely enjoyed my time writing for The Longford Leader. Getting to write for your home town’s paper is a big thing and one I’m very proud to have on my writing CV.
When I started my blog, I initially did so as a pastime, a hobby if you will. That said, blogging has opened up some amazing doors for me since 2016, including writing as the Parenting Columnist for the Leader. My next chapter is yet to be written.
So I thought it would be a fitting way to wrap my column by cherry picking my top 10 tips of parenting advice just for you!
#1 When Dad is minding the kids alone, and Mammy is away for the weekend!
Dad, when going out with your nips, for the love of God, pack a bag with all the essentials e.g.: crackers, snacks, water, nappies, baby wipes, change of clothes, etc. Trust me, I’ve been seriously caught out on this one before...
#2 Cover your Goolies!
Do you remember what it’s like not to have a tiny version of you running head first into your crown jewels … Ya know, just for fun?! Or when cuddles turn and end up including WWE style elbows nailed into your gut/head/back/shins (etc)? Yeah, me neither.
#3 ‘Kids….Don’t tell your Mum about this OK?’
Never say this to your nips, man - kids have zero filter. They blab. And they will tell Mum about all the things you told them not to tell her! Trust me, I know! #parentingfail.
[Disclaimer – The Stented Papa takes zero responsibility for what may/may not happen if you do/do not follow this step!]
#4 Don’t be a Daddy Pig!
He is the worst representation of what a Daddy should be. Watching Daddy Pig destroy a wall trying to hang a framed photo or calling Mum because he can’t find the ketchup is utter crap. He’s a moran and is completely lost without the help of Mum. Don’t be a Daddy Pig.
#5 Long Car Journey Wisdom!
Despite your best intentions of not giving your phone, you will give them your phone just to shut them up for a bit! Screw the parenting guilt, give the phone. You’re welcome.
#6 Take your ‘Me’ time
“Daddy... Dad... Dada... Daaaaaddddddd... Daaddddyyyyy” ….. Over and over and over!
After a while it’ll do your nut in, so go out and meet your mates for a pint. Go for a run. Watch a movie. Have a sly kip on the couch. Play pitch & putt. Be selfish from time to time. You need it! Me, Me, Me.
#7 Ikea - Good idea/bad idea?!
Don’t ever go to Ikea on your own with just your kiddos. Two parents are absolutely essential. When it’s just you and the nips - it’s a horrible experience, which will end up in tears, tantrums, end of relationships and crappy food all over the floor.
#8 Be prepared for how quickly any situation can change!
One second everyone is happy having a laugh and a giggle and then BOOM, their little world falls apart in record fashion.
What’s the issue this time, ha? Let me guess, incorrect sandwich cutting techniques? Wrong colour socks? Knickers not on the correct way? I opened the door when they wanted to do it?! Holy feckin’ moly give me a drink fast!
#9 Dads Don’t Babysit - seriously you 100% do not.
Hell no, man. They are your children. You are not their babysitter. You’re a Parent. It’s part of the job! Are you paid to mind your own nippers?
No. You are their role model and you need to be their superhero. All day. Every Day. 365 days a year.
#10 Enjoy your kids while they are young
Have fun as much as possible. Become a child yourself.
They’ll be a teenager soon enough, telling you they hate you, so become a sponge while you can and soak up that quality time. Spending time with your own flesh & blood - there simply is no better time spent.
That’s it folks. My top 10 parenting tips, all written with a huge tongue stuck into my cheek - take from it what you will. If you like what you’ve read over the last 20 weeks, simply go to my blog The Stented Papa (www.thestentedpapa.com) to continue with me.
It’s been an absolute pleasure writing for you. Take care.
Ross - The Stented Papa