Parenting with the Stented Papa #6: Back to school means ‘me time’
Ross Good (aka The Stented Papa) is a stay at home dad since needing four stents at the age of 37 and is sharing snippets of parenting wisdom
So the summer was epic - no early morning wake ups for the nips, no daily fight over who wants what in their sandwiches for lunch, no having clothes and school bags in some sort of respectable order to ensure a smooth flow of each weekday morning.
Basically, all routine goes out the window. Boom and it’s gone. And it’s immediately replaced with toys, clothes, playdoh, teddies, nappies, lego, cushions (everywhere - like, where the hell do all these extra cushions come from all of a sudden?), odd socks and uncapped markers.
And just like that, as a stay at home parent you long for schools to restart and fast! Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t, ya know.
Why?
Because even though you genuinely thought you couldn’t wait for the summer holidays to begin - and let’s be fair here, the first few weeks are usually fine - it becomes pretty clear that you’re gonna be beyond knackered all the time because it’s relentless. Re-lent-less I tell you.
“Daddy; Dad; Dada; Daaaaaddddddd; Daaddddyyyyyy” ...over and over and over!
Now don’t get me wrong here - I absolutely love being a stay at home dad (SAHD). Love it and anyone who knows me knows this is the case. I simply wouldn’t keep doing it if I didn’t.
And I have patience … I think! Na, I really do but the fact of the matter is even with patience, having to be constantly on call 24/7 is so, so tough and anyone who says otherwise is living in feckin’ moo-moo land. There is no other way to say it. Any SAHP will back me up here, I just know it.
Anyone who works a nine to five job or any type of work, even after a really hard week, they get a switch off. They get to clock out. Go home. Go play with their nips. Go for a pint. Go play ball. Whatever. When you’re a SAHP, you don’t have that ‘clock-out’ option. No, no!
Back to school = Me Time.
That’s it. Just me. All alone. Like right now this minute. Close to three hours to myself. It’s 9.50am on Friday, I’m supping coffee and doing what I do - writing.
But here’s the kicker - I’m doing it distraction free, in Costa - Yeah Baby Yeah! Also, guilt free, as opposed to writing while I give the nips a show for example.
There’s no substitute for experience!
I remember when I was working and The Stented Missus (that’s my wife btw) was a SAHM at the time. One evening she was well and truly bolloxed. It was around 11.15pm and there she was, wrecked but still not going to bed. Instead, she was watching TV. I was looking at her thinking ‘What’s wrong with you, just go to bed no?!’ I just couldn’t understand it.
Naively I looked at her and (stupidly) said “But you’re wrecked...so just go to sleep, simple. Then you’ll be grand”.
I’m pretty sure she just looked at me and told me to F-off! She said she needed to switch off and have her ‘Me Time’ - even though it would mean she’ll be still tired the next morning.
Now I get it.
When you’re a full time SAHP - those minutes when you’ve no little version of you pulling out of you, constantly requesting your help/input/advice with x, y, z, 24/7 are an absolute must. It’s essential.
Now I get why wifey needed to chill, watching some mind-numbing rubbish on TV, which seriously required zero brain power at that time of night. She just needed to chill on her own. ‘Her Time’.
Chat next week folks,
Ross - The Stented Papa
Follow me on - My Blog (www.thestentedpapa.com), @thestentedpapa on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter, or www.bookywooky.ie.